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Michael Bay Doesn’t Change His Style For Anybody (Except James Cameron)
30 Jun 2011, 4:10 am

Okay, I’ll admit it, ever since I read GQ‘s oral history (yes, that’s what they’re calling it) of Michael Bay, I knew I had to find a way to do a post on this guy. Never, in all my years reading ridiculous celebrity interviews (excuse me, oral histories) have I encountered such a masterpiece of douchebaggery. This guy is 10 shades of awful, and about 20 shades of delusional.

Yet he seems to know what the American public likes when it comes to movies — i.e. explosions, titties, and more explosions. And somehow GQ was able to dig up enough people who don’t straight-up hate him to fill an eight page oral history. So good for him, I guess.

I thought about pulling a bunch of quotes to give you a little taste of the epic asshattery, but then I figured I better just send you over to GQ and let you read the whole thing. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

But what caught my eye, and gave me an opportunity to bring Bay back to the pages of Our Fair Site was this little nugget:

Bay: I don't change my style for anybody. Pussies do that.

ORLY?

Paging Mr. Cameron. Mr. James Cameron, God of the 3D movie, to the post, please:

Bay concedes he has done an about-face on 3-D, a format he once said did not fit with his “aggressive style” of filmmaking, namely, quick cuts and unrelenting action. The technology typically requires longer shots to give the eye time to react to its depth of field.

But when James Cameron invited him to the set of Avatar, Bay began to see possibilities.

“At first I thought, ‘This isn’t for me,’” he recalls. “The cameras were big, the sets were cold. It wasn’t my style.”

But he considers Cameron a godfather of sorts and was swayed by his plea. “He said, ‘You need to do one. We need big movies in 3-D or it’s not going to work.’”

And if for some reason this whole Transformers in 3D thing doesn’t end up working out — don’t go blaming Bay. It’s not his sh*tty filming, it’s the those damn projectionists:

Michael Bay likes his special effects. But more importantly, he likes his special effects to be presented in the utmost quality. And now, he is politely asking projectionists in the movie theaters that are playing Transformers 3: Dark Side of the Moon in 3D to kindly brighten the bulbs used to project the movies to a level that will cause them to burn out faster. This will improve the viewing presentation of his films, and will only cost theaters a few thousand dollars to replace the bulbs. You know. Just do him this favor, guys. Spend a few extra thousands of dollars for Transformers 3.

Well, you know, if you can’t ask the popcorn guy to flesh out the plot, the ticket girl to beef up the characters, or the sticky-floor scrubber to write a new script, why not ask the projectionist to turn up the juice on the ‘ol bulbs? After all, it couldn’t hurt.